My character(Dead)

[Hakai]

Name:Makato Hyuuga

Clan:Hyuuga

Age:15

Village:Leaf

Ninja rank:Academy student

Special characteristics:Byakugan,very fast gentle fist,excellent reflexes for avoiding atacks and his movement speed is high.

Skills/specialties:Taijutsu and sub weaponary.He has normal amount of chakra.

Looks:

Personality:People from the ninja academy know him as a calm guy but honorable.He always looks like he is tired but when the fight begins he becomes fast,brutal and dangerous.He lost his parents while the ninetaled fox raged throught the village,and thats why he is so cold.He doesn't really wants to fight but if seriously provoked he becomes very focused.He tries to not spend time on small and non important things and always tinks about his training.He isn't very friendly.He spends time with people who thinks are honorable and have opinions like his.

History/Background:Makato was very ambicous kid but after his parents died he became cold and brutal but he still wants to train hard so he can complete and invent new techniques.He respects only the ones stronger than him but also protects those weaker.When his sensei asked him what is his dream,he told him˝to become stronger,quicker no matter what the cost so i can eliminate the ones...˝he didn't finished the sentence.In time, those who want to help me must be strong.

Jutsus:

Replacement Technique:
Rank:E
The user replaces himself with an nearby object escaping from traps and atacks.

Gentle fist:
Rank:-/-
The Hyuuga clans special type of fighting by closing the chakra nodes only seenable by Byakugan the user damages nearby organs of his oponent,by damaging more and more poles the oponent feels harder to summon his chakra.

Sky dragons palm(lvl1) :
Rank:D
This is Makato's personal technique.Makato constantly hits only one chakra node on the oponents body near heart or stomach with great speed making high preasure of chakra that blasts and severly damages the vital organs and near chakra nodes.Of course with training the technique becomes stronger and in the end it is fatal but the oponent can somehow escape the ending of technique and lower the preasure of chakra in his body making the damage lower.Makato at lvl 1 can make low damage to heart an close less chakra nodes.This technique is dodgeable so Makato usualy uses it in the end.

Byakugan:
Rank:-/-
User has a 360 degrees field of view except for one blind spot behind his back.User can also see 50 meters in front of him and can see through solid matter.Makato can later see even further.

Equipment:
-15 Kunai
-15 Shuriken
-10 Explosive Notes

RP sample:

The shadowy morning:
Looking in front of him as always,Makato gets ready for his first day at academy.He doesn't look excited like the rest of the people.He is cold,careless and only wants to finish the introducing part so he can start his training at getting stronger.˝Time to get going˝he said and dissapeard.He ran as fast as he could avoiding the people in front of him.It was like a race with his shade.He knew that nobody could see him clearly because of his great speed.While runing he noticed that the sky was dark.He hurried.˝Huh,thats not far away at all˝he said while smiling.

Sky dragons palm released!:
In front of academy he saw two guys hurting some kids.˝Yeah,thats right go to your mommy hahaha it looks like he isn't a ninja after all,hahaha˝the fat guy was teasing some kid.˝Hey back off˝Makato said with a litle higher tone ˝what did he do to you anyway˝?˝Hahaha stupid kid˝!˝Insult me one more time and you are gonna pay˝Makato sent a warning.˝Why,are you gonna hurt me,hahaha˝.˝That's enough of you two˝Makato did some handseals and said˝Byakugan˝!He appeard behind one of the thugs and hitted him in the back with the gentle fist.While he was turning back,Makato showed up in front of him and said˝This is my new technique,Sky dragons palm˝!Makato started stabing fingers in the thugs chest.˝Arghh,okay okay you win˝Makato stoped stabing and the Byakugan from his eyes faded away.˝Did you saw his speed˝the other thug said while they were going into the academy.Amazed kids started talking how did he beated them but he just walked away.Rain started and he entered the academy.˝Guess my training is gonna be fun after all˝Makato was thinking while entering in the classroom.

[Chieko]

Okays! Just a few minor problems, no biggies.
First, you have a custom jutsu in there, what I need you to do is bring it into the Creation Center for approval, after that you'll be allowed to use it.
Another thing is you need to give us that rank of the Jutsu, like for example:

Subsitution Technique:
E-Rank
- Technique that replaces the user with a nearby object.

It would be good if your typed all your jutsu like that, the more detailed the description the better!
And I know you can do a little more with your personality, just try it. Don't be shy! Make it at least 3 lines long.
And one thing that is a must, and because everyone does it too, You need a roleplay example! After you fix up everything I'll take another look.

[Hakai]

Name:Makato Hyuuga

Clan:Hyuuga

Age:15

Village:Leaf

Ninja rank:Academy student

Special characteristics:Byakugan,very fast gentle fist,excellent reflexes for avoiding atacks and his movement speed is high.

Skills/specialties:Taijutsu and sub weaponary.He has normal amount of chakra.

Looks:

Personality:People from the ninja academy know him as a calm guy but honorable.He always looks like he is tired but when the fight begins he becomes fast,brutal and dangerous.He lost his parents while the ninetaled fox raged throught the village,and thats why he is so cold.He doesn't really wants to fight but if seriously provoked he becomes very focused.He tries to not spend time on small and non important things and always tinks about his training.He isn't very friendly.He spends time with people who thinks are honorable and have opinions like his.

History/Background:Makato was very ambicous kid but after his parents died he became cold and brutal but he still wants to train hard so he can complete and invent new techniques.He respects only the ones stronger than him but also protects those weaker.When his sensei asked him what is his dream,he told him˝to become stronger,quicker no matter what the cost so i can eliminate the ones...˝he didn't finished the sentence.In time, those who want to help me must be strong.

Jutsus:

Replacement Technique:
Rank:E
The user replaces himself with an nearby object escaping from traps and atacks.

Gentle fist:
Rank:-/-
The Hyuuga clans special type of fighting by closing the chakra nodes only seenable by Byakugan the user damages nearby organs of his oponent,by damaging more and more poles the oponent feels harder to summon his chakra.

Sky dragons palm(lvl1) :
Rank:D
This is Makato's personal technique.Makato constantly hits only one chakra node on the oponents body near heart or stomach with great speed making high preasure of chakra that blasts and severly damages the vital organs and near chakra nodes.Of course with training the technique becomes stronger and in the end it is fatal but the oponent can somehow escape the ending of technique and lower the preasure of chakra in his body making the damage lower.Makato at lvl 1 can make low damage to heart an close less chakra nodes.This technique is dodgeable so Makato usualy uses it in the end.

Byakugan:
Rank:-/-
User has a 360 degrees field of view except for one blind spot behind his back.User can also see 50 meters in front of him and can see through solid matter.Makato can later see even further.

Equipment:
-15 Kunai
-15 Shuriken
-10 Explosive Notes

RP sample:

The shadowy morning:
Looking in front of him as always,Makato gets ready for his first day at academy.He doesn't look excited like the rest of the people.He is cold,careless and only wants to finish the introducing part so he can start his training at getting stronger.˝Time to get going˝he said and dissapeard.He ran as fast as he could avoiding the people in front of him.It was like a race with his shade.He knew that nobody could see him clearly because of his great speed.While runing he noticed that the sky was dark.He hurried.˝Huh,thats not far away at all˝he said while smiling.

Sky dragons palm released!:
In front of academy he saw two guys hurting some kids.˝Yeah,thats right go to your mommy hahaha it looks like he isn't a ninja after all,hahaha˝the fat guy was teasing some kid.˝Hey back off˝Makato said with a litle higher tone ˝what did he do to you anyway˝?˝Hahaha stupid kid˝!˝Insult me one more time and you are gonna pay˝Makato sent a warning.˝Why,are you gonna hurt me,hahaha˝.˝That's enough of you two˝Makato did some handseals and said˝Byakugan˝!He appeard behind one of the thugs and hitted him in the back with the gentle fist.While he was turning back,Makato showed up in front of him and said˝This is my new technique,Sky dragons palm˝!Makato started stabing fingers in the thugs chest.˝Arghh,okay okay you win˝Makato stoped stabing and the Byakugan from his eyes faded away.˝Did you saw his speed˝the other thug said while they were going into the academy.Amazed kids started talking how did he beated them but he just walked away.Rain started and he entered the academy.˝Guess my training is gonna be fun after all˝Makato was thinking while entering in the classroom.

[Chieko]

Everything looks good. Your sky palm is somewhat still being practice in your character so I'll approve it.

Congratulations! Approved Leaf Academy Student.

[Hakai]

Can i create new char to be Akatsuki?

[Sukoppu]

You'd have to get this one killed. If you would like it to get killed, then you can ask me to do that.

[Paksennarion]

Heh, you're just killing people left and right. ^^

[Sukoppu]

Thats cause they ask me all the time lol. I am the most gruesome and powerful jutsu user on the site lol.

[Hakai]

Ok i wanna die can someone pls kill me so i can make my char plss...........

[Sukoppu]

All right. Start a post and I'll come to kill you. Just put the topic, Makato dies.

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